Daren, Bobby and Kyle's Scrumtulescent Minds

Oh, hello. Didn't see you there. What's that? You noticed me here and want to tell me I'm beautiful? Why thank you. But no need. I already know. I'm sure you know who I am. The question is, who are you? World renowned explorer and part-time model / astronaut Roberre here. Yes, I know what you're thinking. I always do. You're wondering where I found this lush field of roses in Rexburg, Idaho. Well too bad, because I'll never tell you. Okay, I'll tell you. Legend has it that if you follow the Civil Defense caves far enough, they will take you all the way to Hell. Determined to prove this legend true, especially since I was the one that made it up, I set out to explore the vast tunnels of Hell itself. If my calculations were correct, I traveled approximately 12 balls of yarn and 2 shoe laces deep into the caves, when I came across a mysterious swirling vortex of liquid. I immediately jumped in and began splashing around, for science. Here's a picture of me conducting my investigations.

I call this look, "I'm trapped in a mysterious vortex, and busy doing smart stuff, but still very very good
looking". Soon after this picture was taken, I sank to the bottom and drowned. Sexy Editor's Note: this was only because I wanted to, and not at all because I don't know how to swim. The rest is sort of a blur. I can only tell you there was something about a mermaid, Narnia, Angelina Jolie and a tuna salad. Then I found
this field. I think that should answer all of your silly little questions.

Besides, how I got here isn't really important. What's important is, here I am. It feels good when I acknowledge you, doesn't it? Bask in the warm glow of my presence while you can. You see, once in a blue moon I like to give back to the little people who make my perfect life possible. So thank you, little people. After all, a wise man once said, "If a beautiful man gets lost in the forest, will anyone hear him flex?". That wise man was me; I said that. Where was I? Oh yeah, me. I'm great. There's a silly rumor going around that I'm "compensating" for something. First of all, how can I be "compensating" if I don't even know what that word means? Third, I have almost as much confidence as I do humility, and twice as many muscles. Furthermore, I am much better than you at minesweeper and racquetball, and I think that counts for something.

Okay, now I'm getting uncomfortable. Stop staring. I'm not a piece of meat you know. I have feelings too. I cried at the end of The Notebook. I cheered at the end of Lost (because it was over). If you prick me, will I not bleed? If you take a picture of me, will I not pose? I am NOT a prize to be won! And so on and so forth.
Well, whatever the point of this story was, I think I've proven it. Before I go, I'm going to leave you with a few healthy tips from champion boxer, fellow model, and Mexican superstar, TheSexiestMan. May his wisdom enlighten you as much as it did me.

ON HEALTH

<THEREALSEXIESTMAN> eat lots of beans for muslces and all the girls will want you

<+TSM-Champ> cucumber will give you perfect skin and will revive your body from inside

ON PEACE MAKING

<+TSM-ThepeoplesChamp> i got lots of muscles for everybody
<+TSM-ThepeoplesChamp> no need to fight

ON SELF DEFENSE

<+SEXIESTMAN-MostfamousMexican> i do kickboxing and box
<+SEXIESTMAN-MostfamousMexican> try punch
<+Seinfeld`Curse> i got a gun
<+SEXIESTMAN-MostfamousMexican> i can kick your gun
<+SEXIESTMAN-MostfamousMexican> and then with my fist broke your nouses